Saving Yourself
Something no one talks about because it isn't sexy...
The journey you will inevitably make from the wounded little girl inside of you...
BEGGING to be rescued by masculine energy.
Playing out the narrative that was written for you by a society long before you took your first breath.
The starting point...
Praying to be RESCUED by God.
Magical thinking that God the father will help You..
And he does, for a while.
Praying to be rescued by your partner.
Playing out victim because you need him to survive and to literally get your needs met.
And it works, for a while.
Until it doesn't.
Because you asked to realize your WHOLENESS.
You asked to see who you really were.
You asked to understand your own INTERNAL POWER.
And what you didn't realize you asked for was...
To feel.
And in the breadth of you feeling the depth of your power..
You also felt the absolute depth of your loneliness.
The feeling of a little girl desperate for a savior, desperate for the affection and love of her father, desperate for a lover who will rescue her.
The waiting. The darkness. The pain.
You didn't realize..
That you asked to sit in that loneliness.
Wondering why God never showed up the same way anymore.
Wondering why in the midst of your calls from the deep dark pit saying..
"Someone! Anyone! RESCUE ME!"
And the only voice, the quietest voice..
The only presence you had felt in years it seemed...
Was the still, small voice that said..
There's a rope right beside you.
Climb out, YOURSELF.
You're annoyed.
Because you wanted the big GRAND escapade and entrance of rescue.
But little did you know, this was the entire love story.
Not that you'd be swept off your feet rescued by a savior.
But that you would gain the gumption, the guile, the strength...
To save yourself.
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