From Failure to Riches

I spent the day crying feeling like a total failure.

How could I be 28 years old, and still doing the SAME exact thing I was doing with money when I was a kid?

I knew that if I batted my eyes a couple of times, and caught him at the RIGHT time.. That he would say yes.

He always said yes.

I realized, part of me actually loved this.

My dad, rescuing me financially..

I wondered at the time why it felt oddly good to feel the sense of shame I felt at the same time that I asked for the money… but I asked anyway.

He said yes, he always said yes...and I took it.

The cycle had happened so many times I was immune to it at this point, but I decided that I would do something different.

I decided that I would push PLAY on this free meditation that I had been given.

For whatever reason within moments I was transported back to seeing the world through seven-year-old me’s eyes.

I was under the tree, remembering where I was, and taking communion.

I was filled with shame and guilt. We had just been at church earlier that day. The pastor had passed around the communion plate instructing that this is what we needed to do to cleanse ourselves of our sins, and my mom wouldn’t let me partake.

She told me I wasn’t old enough yet to decide, next year I would be able… but I was terrified of death, terrified of hell..

So I decided to make communion of my own under the tree that day, I'm not sure anyone noticed me.

I sat out there for what felt like hours with a loaf of white wonder bread + a vat of grape juice saying the sinner's prayer over and over again hoping that I would feel better. 

At 28 ,I laid in the back room of my home but was experiencing the same emotion of guilt and shame as 7 year old under the tree communion me.

It was bizarre. Freeing. I cried and released, and suddenly, after this process was over.. I could no longer access the feeling of guilt or of shame within me.

What just happened?

I never knew that saying YES to a free process would put me on a healing trajectory that would change my ENTIRE life, but the very first step.. Was saying yes to something that would change the very function of my brain.

Because I no longer had this shame meter or even shame addiction, I started to no longer need this process with money to bring me on my hands and knees (well let's be honest, batting my eyes) to my dad asking for money in the middle of a tough time..

And I started to heal...This was my secondary gain.

You see, growing up my dad’s main role as a father was to provide financially. He took that seriously, and that was the majority of what he could offer me as a kid. It is the way he showed that he loved me, and even though I despised the way that he worked and never was home… I also knew subconsciously that this was the ONLY way I was going to get love from my dad.

Because our brains are formed of both the subconscious and the conscious mind, we have many different programs operating simultaneously.

The conscious brain says “I want to make lots of money”

But the subconscious mind, which controls over 97% of our outward reality and is fully shaped by the age of 8 says, “I need my dad to love me, and dad only shows love to me through providing for me so I will keep making scenarios where dad has to give me money so that I can feel love”

Do you see it? 

THIS ^ Connection is the connection that sparked my entire subconscious understanding of the subconscious mind, the power of the programming of our childhoods + the preference that our minds have for our parents and their way of living because of the NEED that the inner child feels for the parents love and approval.

This is what led me to become a subconscious healing expert. This is what led me to working with people on expanding their wealth capacity, and what ultimately led me to being a business coach.

This connection is what I teach inside of all of my money and wealth teachings (but on a much deeper level of course). Not only do I teach it, but we will HEAL it.

Inside of my most famous course, Wealth Embodied.. You will get access to processes that will forever change your abundance reality + You get access to the entire course FOR FREE when you sign up for even just one month of my membership, FEMME CEO!

Click HERE To learn more about the membership

Xo Jenna